A lot of people only showcase their successes and we tend to hold it dearly as the only part of the story.
However, only a few let us see in between the grind, how they have failed many times and pressed on till success became a familiar rhythm.
In and before October, I had 4 massive rejections that left me downtrodden for days but then, what makes the story sweeter if not the twists, the bad and the ugly?
I got to the final selection stage of the prestigious Bridge Program. It’s a platform that trains young people to proffer solutions to real world problems, gain access to world class mentorship among other juicy benefits. I made it to the last stage of my interview which spanned across 3 virtual sessions but I got a big ‘No’ in the end.
In addition, after my first phase of the CNN Academy Program, I was to proceed to the second, publish a story, fly to Abu Dhabi and be a part of the CNN Academy simulation. But after the first phase, my pitch didn’t pull through to the second.
I got my passport ready, my story pitch was reviewed by one of the world’s best journalists and yes, I had high hopes but it was all petered out.
Shortly, after gathering the pieces of my shattered self together, I decided to try again. I applied for a job, just to put some bees in the trap while on holiday. I pulled through the application process, got interviewed and was getting ready to resume then boom, the employer became a ghost that couldn’t be seen nor accessed and I had to accept my fate.
I wouldn’t give up just yet, so I kept going.
A client who wanted me to anchor a virtual event for a month reached out. I was super elated because that’s what I love doing the most. But after prior discussion, getting ready and all, he left my chats unanswered, till today.
I had to double check if all was okay with me. I had to reevaluate my decisions, my choices and my deepest convictions.
Did I cry? Yes
Was I in pain? Yes
Did it feel like nothing was working? Yes.
I forged on regardless after pulling strength from a favorite scriptural verse that reads “surely there’s an end and thy expectations shall not be cut off.” Proverbs 23:18
I strongly believe in the supernatural, times and seasons, efforts and intentionality.
I know my season will come.
On this narrow path of greatness, where only a few tread, I’m constantly finding that it is not without challenges, there’s no sure way to victory, there’s no ease within its walls, and only those determined can travel through.
However tough it gets, I won’t stop trying, believing, growing and leaning on God’s invisible hand that leads me.
I thought to share and I believe that this would meet the need of someone out there who is in doubt of his or her ability and progress.
Hey, there’s an end and your expectations won’t be cut off.
I thought my petals were flawed. I hide in quiet, cos my stains are now scars But one day, a passer by found me beautiful. My tiny grains of imperfection now a bubble of creative attraction!
So many times before now, I doubt my abilities a lot and what I believe I can do. It can even be worse on days when I don’t completely accept someone’s compliment on what I’ve done.
“Hey, that was awesome,” they’d say, but in my mind, I don’t accept it, I wash it off or I don’t even believe it.
Maybe they just want me to feel good, I’d say to myself – it’s not true.
Imposter syndrome means doubting your achievements and abilities, and fearing that you might be a fraud.
It lived with me for such a long time and bejeweled how I perceived myself, until I began to feed my mind with new truths from God’s word, and from other amazing books.
I needed to see myself in a different light, and even though it was difficult, I was at it till it became my livable reality.
So what about the feeling of imposter syndrome?
I believe it’s gradually ebbing out. It’s fizzling away. I’m free from its web.
How did I do that?
I’ve learned to get out of my head and to be kinder to myself. I now genuinely accept people’s compliment about me, I embrace, I own it and I raise my shoulders high with it.
You know why? Because my contribution matters in this big world and that’s what I’m doing, trying to make a difference in my own little corner.
I’ve made an attempt to do so many things growing up, but it came with a lot of second guessing and doubt.
It’s this how they do it? Am I good enough? Would this last?
My questions painted with a tinge of fear.
But now, I’m learning to focus on my journey. Because someone is so good at it and I’m just starting out it doesn’t make me any less important. It only means my journey just began and my path is unique if only I can see it.
I may not be perfect, but I’m willing to learn, to grow and to make my today’s better than yesterday’s and that’s the best decision to make.
I’m finding the best environment – one filled with people who would give me all the love, support and care necessary for my growth. And guess what? I’m finding them everyday and it’s the best place to be.
Sometimes, putting up with constant prayer and the study of God’s Word helps to redirect my thinking and perception of who I am in Christ Jesus and who I am made to be.
The Bible has a way of renewing my mind, transforming my thoughts and nature, healing my hurts and filling me up to the brim with joy, peace and love in the Holy Ghost. You should try it out soon.
Where we come from, what we’ve seen, the limitations, the successes of the environment we grow up in may want to suggest to us what is achievable and what it’s not. But that’s not true.
I’ve chosen to live with the winning mindset. The grit that surmounts all odds till victory is birthed. I’ve chosen to lean on the ever lasting arm of God because He’s the enabler and equipper.
We can’t change where we come from but we can write another beautiful story from the trenches.
However you feel, always go ahead of your doubts and unbelief. Just do it regardless. You are light and the world needs to be blessed by your glow. So shine!
1 Corinthians 3:5 “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves, but our sufficiency is of God.”
His smiles warmed me up from head to toe as we exchanged anecdotes, drifting in time and unwinding from the day’s fast grind.
He is one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen.
His confident look, his piercing pale blue eyes, and the way happiness hangs on his face whenever he smiles makes me give a forever stare like he was a portrait in time.
All of these connived together and gave him a single definition – handsome.
I particularly loved the way he looks at me -those wishful eyes, full of life and how it lightens up my dead sparks.
For a moment, I sifted through the sea of questions that coursed my heart.
“Am I falling in love again?
What if he’s not feeling the same?
Hey, how did I fall so deeply, so madly in love?
Who is this man, he’s so different?”
From hi’s and hello’s to pizza after work. From holding hands together to sharing a home space, I got hitched.
“Congratulations, your home is blessed.”
My phone buzzed with torrents of texts, my corridor flooded with an ocean of gifts and my heart experienced genuine affection.
Peace and joy rummaged in the core recess of my being. I was glad to let him in and this delight was evident in the cheerfulness that cascaded my face.
But I didn’t ask the most important question. Is God happy with this step? Did he author this newfound love of mine? Did he pour his blessings?
It’s been 3 years down the line, and I don’t feel the same for this guy. It’s been hell. Rocky. Raucous. Chaotic.
I lost something so difficult to recover.
God’s love, his touch, his tenderness, his attention to detail, his patience, and his grace in my life in general used to be a complete wonder I’ve never stopped being grateful for.
But that was all in the blur of yesterday.
He has been my greatest friend; I found respite in the sweet hours of prayer and he’d never let me stray out of his sight.
I could feel God around me like a lover’s gentle treat from breakfast in bed to roses and lunch at work to dinner and sweet lullaby at night.
It’s all been an adventure of sweetness, but I can’t seem to find it anymore despite my long incessant search.
I wish I could go back to where yesterday lived.
I rummaged through the memory box that was almost forgotten in my room.
Maybe I’d find my journal – a little house that stored all the memories of my dealings with God. From divine encounters to sweet promises.
Maybe It’d remind me what prayer feels like and maybe I’d find the right words.
How did I grow so distant from God?
How did I forget what it feels like to pray?
How? When did I become so deaf to the whispers of the Holy Spirit?
I took a step I wasn’t sure He was okay with and I embarked on a journey I wasn’t sure He blessed.
I lost God.
**** “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man but the end thereof are the ways of death.” Proverbs 14:12
The current road on which you tread, the recent decisions you made, the action you are about to take. Are they all pleasing to God?
You may not be able to go back to where yesterday lives but you can make the most of today.
Acknowledge your sins and go back to your first love – Jesus.
It doesn’t matter how far you’ve drifted. He makes all things BEAUTIFUL!
Over the course of the previous week, I had reasons to doubt doing good. Why must I do good to others, it’s not worth it. My new resolve was firm.
Photo credit – Google
My goods were painted in black and my reputation needed to be manumitted.
I mean for a while I paused, wondering, searching for answers.
Maybe I could read some on the sky, I thought and looked up. God knew what I was thinking and so His fingers would have penned some notes to my curiosity but sadly, it was page blank.
So here’s what happened, I went out of my way to do something good for a neighbor. Someone I held so dear. It’s the kind of good that brought her products good sales and reward.
But then, just before the end of this good Samaritan story of mine, someone with another intention struck. This someone was unknown and some of her products vanished with this someone’s disappearance.
And the good Samaritan became the culprit for supposedly not identifying the culprit and even for being the good Samaritan in the first place.
“Why would you even offer to help me? Why didn’t you even wait for me? Why didn’t you, why didn’t you and why didn’t you filled the air and distrust seeped in gradually and grabbed a seat.
Pain and regrets claimed my heart and all I could do was to give a blank stare after being asked to pay for a crime I didn’t commit.
I vowed never to do good again but I quickly remembered what scripture said concerning Jesus in Acts 10:38 New Century Version (NCV).
****
“You know about Jesus from Nazareth, that God gave him the Holy Spirit and power. You know how Jesus went everywhere doing good and healing those who were ruled by the devil because God was with him.”
Jesus did good everywhere he went because God was with him.
You can only let people see how much of God you carry when you do good to them.
In Matthew 5:16, scriptures say: “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father who is in heaven”.
If you don’t do good, how can men see your work and give glory to God? If you don’t do good how can you bring some people to Jesus? If you don’t do good, how can you shine as the light and give sweet taste to people as the salt of the earth?
Jesus did good and the only evil he committed was good.
The very people for which he plucked out his eyes rewarded his deeds with loud screams of “crucify him, crucify him, away with this man.”
But he still chooses good, regardless. Choosing calvary too was good. You sinned, but he died. You borrowed and he paid the debts in full.
Sometimes your good is masqueraded as evil and instead of good returns your tent is pitched at the other side of happiness.
You give quizzical looks because of how complex the puzzle has become.
Your reputation, resources and respect is being trampled upon like a rejected rose.
Today, you should resolve to choose good regardless of the result. Let men see your good works.
Both the good and evil are refreshed by the rain God gives.
Both the kind and wicked are still beneficiaries of the sun’s light by day and the stars twinkle by night.
If you belong to Jesus, then the DNA of good works resides in you.
Do good to all. Go all out today and choose to do good.
Be wise as a serpent and be gentle as a dove in your good works.
Would Heaven ever lose a fight?: Easter the ever trending proof of resurrection
At Sunrise
Photo credit – google
It all began that morning according to Mark’s account of the resurrection story, etched somewhere in the old holy book. (Mark 16:1-4).
It began particularly at sunrise, the frigid breeze, the quietude of the morning, the worry that hung in the air seemed to dissipate gradually, they could feel it but they just couldn’t place it. They could hear it but they just sing out its rhythm.
“Let’s go check the tomb.” The three women agreed.
Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome visited the tomb with sweet smelling spices to anoint Jesus’ body. Oh how sweet of them, it’d have cost a fortune I perceive.
I’ve been asking, and maybe you could help send your answers to quiet my puzzled thoughts. Why was it just the women who cared to go visit the tomb at sunrise? Where did the men go? Maybe we should grab lunch together and deal with that right. I’d appreciate it.
Three amazing women journeyed to the tomb with so much excitement yet a little fear racked their frame. “Maybe let’s hold on until we’re there.” Mary Magdalene would have said.
“I know right, just that I can’t stop thinking…who would roll away the stone for us?” The other two chimed almost immediately. Their eyes blatantly screamed bewilderment but their journey didn’t stop, at least not until they arrived at the tomb.
Soon, the tomb was before their eyes and like Mark recorded, it was empty and the stone was rolled away.
Wide surprise stretched over their faces and soon their warm cheer grew into a stern worry. The stone was rolled away and their gratitude goes to whoever did the good job, but where’s their lord. Who took him away? They traveled so far just because of him.
Many questions lurked in their minds unending, like a long queue of street beggars waiting for free food.
In utter weariness and a growing sadness their eyes traveled from the spices delicately clutched in their hands to the empty tomb and the mighty stone that gigantically laid innocently on the ground. Loud silence wore on until an angel surfaced. The wide light of day couldn’t consume the brightness of his apparel.
Like twinkling stars in thick darkness, he shone. Dazzling, shimmering in a blinding radiance. His presence commanded their fading happiness to return quickly when he made some announcement.
He seemed to come from nowhere, but he understood exactly who they were looking for and he divulged the biggest news in history, one that has never stopped trending even though the contemporary world reporters weren’t there to capture the moment.
What would his picture look like in the magazine or newspaper front page?
What would the headline read like?
Would the Journalists be bold enough to ask him for an exclusive interview?
I haven’t stopped imagining.
“He is not in the grave, but He is risen, hurry now, go tell the others.”
This news made their Sunday morning but it was too much to bear alone. The angel must have given a nod at their flight. His legs hugged his chest while he sat on the gigantic stone, staring blankly. Coming down to earth was like another adventure. The dust raised after their take off was the only farewell he got. After all humans would always be humans he thought and a knowing smile appeared on the edge of his lips afterwards.
Idle Tales
Soon, the mighty heralds arrived. The three unyielding women. Their lips parched to the throats for thirst, chest panting as blood rushed in looking for a passage through the heart.
The others must hear this so giving up was not an option. However, a succinct account of their experience left the eleven disciples in “umms” and hmmms.” A blend of disbelief, joy and uncertainty wrapped them like a fog. Everyone needed a space to take this in as silence seeped in gradually and grabbed a chair in their midst. (Mark 16:11, 13-14)
After minutes of spinning around, Peter, the team lead then hurried to the sepulchre, the place where the great historic news was divulged by an ethereal being of light. (Luke 24:12)
“Maybe I’d still find him there.” Peter hoped as he took to his heels.
On the other hand, the soldiers who guarded the sepulchre would soon be losing their heads. Why should they allow Jesus to resurrect? They were done for it. In torn ropes and ugly frowns the Jewish religious leaders (the chief priest, elders, scribes, sanhedrin,) sat in bewilderment when the news penetrated through their widely opened ears.
The soldiers gasped for air on their arrival. They were frozen to death when the angel touched down at the sepulchre and at least that would have been a good escape from their superior. But somewhere, life wriggled in their nostrils and a wave of disappointment brushed their faces.
For a few seconds, joy crowded the room when they suddenly remembered their success with Judas – the disciple who pierced the savior’s loving heart with a dagger of betrayal. That was just for 30 pieces of silver and boom their arch enemy Jesus was down. It would take only a little more addition to conceal this news from entering many ears. The room simmered in noise as deliberations flew in from different angles.
Corruption and wickedness prevailed for the heart of man is desperately wicked. Scriptures even asked, who can know it?(Jeremiah 17:9). Volunteers for evil would always be readily available so they found soldiers who were willing to do the unholy job for a huge sum.
“Just tell people that his disciples stole his body while we slept; he never arose.” They instructed sternly. (Matthew 28:11-15)
While the breaking news from the women sounded like an idle tale to the eleven, the counterfeit tale was being sponsored and like dedicated ants gathering their harvest, the soldiers did their job.
The counterfeit message was laced into a sweet gossip and flew around like blind bats in search of a lodge and littered everywhere like an unwanted green grass. Some hands rested on the head, others clutched to the waist as the sounds of “He arose” and “He didn’t arise, his disciples stole his body while we slept.” mercilessly flew in the air.
The Chief priest tried so badly to withhold the truth maybe in order to ‘maintain their authority and control over religious matters and to prevent the rise of a new religious movement centered around Jesus.’
Moreover, Jesus was always challenging their authority, calling them hypocrites, breaking their laws, especially about the Sabbath observance, mixing with the people they regarded as unclean(sinners, prostitutes, tax collectors, making claims about Himself that they couldn’t swallow.
“Crucify Him.” Their voices also echoed among the legion but deep down their heart, they knew how awful the sight and stench would be if their hearts were to be open for every naked eye to peep and for every free nose to smell. Jesus was everything good and they were everything bad. They knew.
But could heaven ever lose a fight?
The roses of Sharon have blossomed.
Our Savior arose to the irk and discomfiture of the prince of this world and the rulers of darkness and to the amazement of the Jewish religious leaders. (Colossians 11:15).
The Significance of His Resurrection
Peter Whener, a contributing opinion writer for the New York Times in one of his articles mentioned succinctly the importance of the death and resurrection of Jesus and I can’t agree more.
“The cross and the resurrection were part of one act of love and the mission of redemption.”
Jesus wasn’t forced to die, it was one of the hard decisions he made out of love because he wanted to redeem you. He wanted to create and deposit a treasure in an earthen vessel – that vessel is you.
Easter didn’t just happen unplanned, every bit of it was drafted by God’s unpredictable wisdom with you in mind. (Romans 8:28-29).
And that’s why heaven couldn’t afford to lose the fight. Hades didn’t prevail, He collected the keys of eternal life and He’s been given a name, one that is inimitable. He arose, so you too can arise out of depression, self-pity, sin, unrighteousness, lies and compromise.
(Philippians 2:9-11)
“Resurrection changes everything: It’s a reminder not just that Jesus rose from the dead but that love is stronger than hatred, that hope is stronger than despair, and that life is stronger than death. More simply, it reminds us that nothing is impossible with God.
Choose not to believe in the Resurrection, and Jesus is just another prophet. Believe in the Resurrection, and your whole life changes.” Peter Whener said.
His resurrection happened to launch you into the newness of life as his son, daughter, church and bride.
His resurrection is the foundation of Christianity, it signified His victory over death, it was a confirmation of Jesus’ identity, it offers hope for eternal life to all who believe, it has brought about the forgiveness of sin by His blood that was shed, and all who believe and live holy lives would be caught with Him in the cloud when he returns.
Nathan Campbell’s the Campus Pastor, at South Bank wrote an Easter poem which succinctly captures this irrefutable occurrence and warns against being cajoled by some witty scholarly counterfeit rhyme.
Seven Stanzas At Easter
Make no mistake: if he rose at all
It was as His body;
If the cell’s dissolution did not reverse, the molecule reknit,
The amino acids rekindle,
The Church will fall.
It was not as the flowers,
Each soft spring recurrent;
It was not as His Spirit in the mouths and fuddled eyes of the
Eleven apostles;
It was as His flesh; ours.
The same hinged thumbs and toes
The same valved heart
That—pierced—died, withered, paused, and then regathered
Out of enduring Might
New strength to enclose.
Let us not mock God with metaphor,
Analogy, sidestepping, transcendence,
Making of the event a parable, a sign painted in the faded
Credulity of earlier ages:
Let us walk through the door.
The stone is rolled back, not papier-mache,
Not a stone in a story,
But the vast rock of materiality that in the slow grinding of
Time will eclipse for each of us
The wide light of day.
And if we have an angel at the tomb,
Make it a real angel,
Weighty with Max Planck’s quanta, vivid with hair, opaque in
The dawn light, robed in real linen
Spun on a definite loom.
Let us not seek to make it less monstrous,
For our own convenience, our own sense of beauty,
Lest, awakened in one unthinkable hour, we are embarrassed
Dear Abba, When all is dark and quiet I see you come. Not just as a sound but a melody. Not just to give company but comfort. Not just to read my lips but to hear my heart. Not just to say it’s okay but to say I’m here now. Then, you drink in all my pain And feed me with your ever truest blessings.
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